Tag Archives: evil day job

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Goldfish and 3 second memories

So… I planned on finishing my book this weekend, but it totally didn’t happen. Why? Because, destructively, I was so damn busy dreaming about all sorts of other things.
So I cleaned up my house, spring cleaned my library – now it’s looking damn beautiful. I also did washing, cleared out my daughters toys and excess clothing, went and hung out at the hardware store, socialized with a few friends, watched Game of Thrones episodes so that I’m all up to date before the new season (squee!), fixed a downpipe with my husband, cut up GIB board (drywall) to fix up a gaping hole in my living room wall, installed software onto my computer that I probably don’t need, stressed a little about my current contract I’m doing and what the hell I’m going to do to fix the problem, designed a book cover for a book I’m planning on releasing in a few months (more about that another time), and Oh… I nearly forgot.

I bought every damn Goldfish album I could. All 5.2 hours of it. FABULOUS.

So on that note – I will leave you (because I need to get up at some ungodly hour tomorrow) with a track that I have known for years but completely forgot about. Hopefully it will get you bouncing just like me.
Goldfish – 3 Second Memory – Because this is like my current state of mind. Three seconds later, and I’ve completely forgotten what I should have been doing – like WRITING!

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Evil Day Jobs and Creativity

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I have taken on this contract of sifting through the most enormous spreadsheet of my life – and to be honest – I hope that I never ever have to do something quite like this ever EVER again. I’m a creative, and creative people like so do creative ‘stuff’. Funny how that is!

So in terms of creativity and me at the moment, yesterday I blasted out a 1000 or so words before I started work, so I was feeling really super-great. Then I started drowning in a spreadsheet, and now I have actually lost the drive for creativity! How bizarre is that? I come across a huge problem that needs fixing, and I don’t think I really have the right skill-set to do it – but for some unknown reason, there are a number of people around me here at work, who all seem to think I can. Cripes – perhaps my can-do attitude has been coming across or something. My issue right now is that I really need to focus, and get the last little bit of this book finished, because I am that close. Hopefully I can get it done over this coming weekend… if all creativity hasn’t been totally lost!

Anyway – I guess that’s my update in my current world. Other than that – Abigail is away with my Mother in Law – and the house is terribly quiet without her.

And I have recently just come to another realisation about myself – what get’s me out of bed in the morning is being creative. Whether it’s designing book covers with Dwell Design & Press, or it’s writing the books – that’s my driver. That’s what gets me up. And that’s what I want to live for. None of this bland-world-spreadsheet business. But my creativity seems to be taking a bit of a back seat. 

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Saying goodbye to the Evil Day Job…

I never realised how damn upset I would be to be leaving the Evil Day Job. I know, I know – every writer wants the opportunity to write full time. Seriously – so – why am I so damn upset about leaving?

I have worked there for the past nine years, and there are a few very good reasons why I stayed, and one of those is the bonds of friendship that I have made there. I have worked with the most brilliant team of people. It really has felt like a family.

There would be days where I would bitch and shout at them, but we kept it completely in-house. In reality, if anyone messed with us, we would all stand back to back and defend the crap out of each other. I don’t know if I’m going to ever get that same sense of family belonging in another organisation. I’m not joking when I say that I absolutely love some of them with all my heart. No, I’m not ‘in love’ with them… but I trust them completely, and value their amazing friendships beyond belief. I have made some of my closest friends there… we worked hard, and we played hard. We could also separate out our work stuff from our social stuff, and that was great. Keep the bitching in the office, but when it came to being social with each other, we would leave all the crap at the office door and have a truly great time. They have been so supportive to me over the years, especially with my writing. One friend said she’s seen me go from being single, to married, and now a mother.

Yesterday when I was working my last day, the entire day my stomach was filled with dread. It was the rolling butterflies’ sort of dread. I couldn’t even eat all my lunch. I felt as though I was going through a massive break up with the 25 people staying, and that I would never see anyone else who was also leaving. In a way it was damn heart-breaking. I managed to get a lot of my emotional rubbish out of my system on Saturday – thank god. So that meant that yesterday, I only had a little cry once I got to my car.

But nine years is a fairly large chunk of my life that I have spent working for one organisation, and I’ve had such a connection to the place and the people there. The experience has been amazing. And if truth be known – why am I so upset? Well… I guess I’m going to be lonely without them being around me all the time. I guess I didn’t want to leave them in the state they are in – raw and hurting from an ugly restructure. One that should have celebrated success, but turned into something akin to a rip-shit-and-bust mission. It doesn’t stop me from caring about those people remaining in there. It won’t stop me loving them. Yes, I was ready to go – I just wish I could help them out a bit more with getting things settled after having half the staff leave. I know that I’m going to have to let go… but I still don’t think it’s truly hit me yet. It’s the end of an era, and technically, I’m now a full time writer, designer, and mother until someone else comes along and snaffles up my talents.

Attitude

Create a life

“Re-tune your thoughts to reflect the environment you want.” ~ LkH, 2013

My ‘Evil Day Job’ now has a finite period remaining in it. Yes, finally, after nearly nine fabulous years of working in the NZ Treaty Sector, I have worked myself into redundancy.

Now, with a huge environmental change like this, a lot of people would probably find this sort of thing incredibly hard to deal with. Funnily enough though, I’m happy. I know that I have put my heart and soul into my Evil Day Job, and I have worked my ass off.

I have seen huge successes, and I have seen tragedies. There has been lots laughter, shenanigans, arguments, hilarity, tears, anger, good times, and more often than not – bonds as strong as family. But I am ready to go. I have been mentally preparing myself for this for a long time.

So what will I do?

Well, you can bet your ass that I’ll keep writing. You can even bet your ass that I’ll publish some of my larger works. But in terms of the Evil Day Job? Who knows. I’m looking forward to working out the next step in my life.

In the mean time, I’ll keep up my positive attitude, as cast the nets far and wide out to my contacts. The universe always has a way of providing when you ask for it.

Some days are better than others…

Some days really are better than others. So here is a quick update of my news over the past couple of weeks:

Since I have been back at work, I have been trying to settle in. Some of my colleagues say that it doesn’t even feel as though I have been on leave for six months. There is only one new person at the ooffice… but a few of the old staff have left, so I miss their presence.

I also miss Abby! But she’s having such a great time in care, that I really needn’t of worried like I did. But I do feel as though I’m missing an appendage of sorts. I’m pleased that she did have a good routine already set in place, and that with the help of my Mother in Law – we taught her how to take a bottle. She seems to be happy as to be away from me during the day.

Abby has been the utter centre of attention for everyone as we have had lots of family visiting over the past couple of weeks. Was really lovely to see them all, and for them to finally meet Abby for the first time. I can’t believe she is now five months old already! Motherhood is sweeping by very fast.

I had my very first car accident yesterday morning… What a great start to the week! A chap was pulling out of his driveway, and didn’t see me driving past, and smooshed my passenger doors with the nose of his great big Mercedes. So this afternoon I have to go and pick up a rental car to tide us over while ours gets fixed. (What is really annoying is that we only just sold my husbands car on Sunday, so I could have been using that!)

I have started catching the train to work, and each time I feel utterly elated at the amount of writing work I am accomplishing again! After 6 months of basically having a break from it, I am now immersing myself into my writer’s world for at least an hour per day. And it is FABULOUS! I’m smashing through my editing during my dedicated train time. Feels amazing.

One of my Critique partners has moved to China, so that’s a bit tough. Gonna be awesome for her – and it will start to feel a bit better when she’s back up and running online again.

Another Critique partner is about to release her next book, which is exciting!

Anyway – I better get back to the Evil Day Job (which is actually going quite well) and earn my keep.

P.s. Can’t wait to get this damn book off my desk and onto the desks of publishers.

Quitting the Evil Day Job

One of my good friends who is also one of my critique partners, is leaving her Evil Day Job this week to write full time. I have three critique partners, and they are all now full time writers. (One has three children, so she’s also a full time Mum.) I personally think that this is totally wonderful, and it means that these inspiring women can tap into some serious creative potential to achieve their dreams. They even have the time to achieve their dreams.

But for my friend who is leaving her job this week, this is where the story unravels a bit. Apart from her husband and children, she is lacking support with the real humans in her life (not the writers). Her friends and real family are criticizing her for her decision to leave work, refusing to even talk to her about her creative endeavours, and this is right royally starting to piss me off. The audacity of these people. They call themselves her friends and family? But where is the support? Or the love? Or the shoulder? No where. They appear to be more worried about how she will make money, or the recession, or things like that. Personally – it is absolutely none of their business to what arrangement she has with her money situation. What business is it of theirs? If she has some sort of way to pay the bills and live, then that is her business and hers alone.

This decision that she has made is primarily about her happiness, and her goals in life. Life is what we make of it, and if you are happy sitting around working a 40 hour week in a job that you don’t like, and getting paid sweet F.A. to do so – then fine. That’s your life. Be happy with what baskets you put your f*!king eggs in. But if you see someone taking a risk with their own life to make their dreams come true? Well – that’s just inspirational. Be inspired by this. Do not be jealous, or worry about their potential money problems!

I can’t wait till my friend has more time on her plate to create her worlds. It’s very exciting for her, and I am more than willing to give her as much support as she needs to make her dreams come true. What goes around, comes around.

So, let this be a warning to those who are not creative or to those to have no idea what being creative means. If someone is quitting their day job to pursue their dreams, then support them in achieving that. Be their shoulder to cry on, and be there to talk to them. That’s what friends and family do for each other. It is not about how much money you earn, or what you spend it on that shows your quality of life. It’s how you feel within yourself.