Back on the wagon

Yes, you all read that correctly. I am officially back on the writing wagon – that same wagon I have been trying to climb back on for the past two months. However – introducing my new daughter to the world was a much more important job. But now that she is ‘sleeping like a baby’, it means that I can get a little writing work done!

So – this is a little update for you all since the last post I wrote on my writing stuff – Having a little faith…

Last week I rewrote the opening scenes for The Mediterranean Source. I’d had some feedback from one of my critique partners that I needed to bolster up the main character motivations. This was some seriously good feedback as the main character only really became the main character when I re-edited the book last November. So to give her more motivation for doing what she does was something that I really needed to work on. And – I am happy to say that my critique partner had a read of it, and thought that it was a much stronger opening for the book. It was excellent to have that feedback as I’ve been feeling a little rusty on the writing front lately. I need to re-sharpen my writing claws!

Needless to say, after rewriting the opening scene, I dived into editing again. Man, it felt amazing. It felt so damn good to be immersing myself back into my own world and story. I had to drag myself out of it whenever Abby woke, but it was just so damn good to be back.

So – that’s what I am doing right at the moment. Editing. Yippeee! And it’s a lovely way to ease myself back into the game as well.

Tijuana Nights is really sitting at the forefront of my mind, and I really want to get back into writing it once I finish editing The Mediterranean Source. So while I edit, I will be thinking about that story, and what I think it needs. I think that I will redo some of the planning on it, but structurly – the storyline remains the same. There are some characters that need a little work done on them to round them out a bit better, so I will probably start with that before I continue writing the book.

The Second book of the Talent Trilogy needs to be finished. Gack. I know. Honestly, I only have a couple of thousand words to write on it, and it’s finished, but something has been holding me back with it. That book had a number of alternative endings – any of which I could use. However, I’m going to go with the one that seriously ramps up some emotions I think. Once I complete it – I need to throw myself into some serious planning for the third book, and that’s gonna mean re-reading the first and second book for me to do it. (Thank god I have a Kindle!) When I originally planned this trilogy years ago – it was a good plan – it just wasn’t robust enough for the world I was creating. I never expected the Talent world to get so big. Now it needs to be broken down and sorted out before I continue.

In other news, I have been reading books like a fricking machine. My goodness, I can’t quite believe how many I am cranking through! It’s all this downtime while I am feeding Abby that is allowing me to read so much. It’s amazing. Once again – thank god I have a Kindle (or else it would be a real pain in the backside trying to turn the pages.)

Abby is growing like a wee mushroom. Every day is different. Some days are challenging, others are a breeze. She’s sleeping well through the night now, and it’s a hell of a relief for us. Every day we thank our lucky stars that she sleeps for decent periods through the night. This week she is transitioning into her own room. It’s a scary thing for me! When she finally has her first night in her own room, I know that I’m going to feel a bit off-key about it. I guess any new mother would be the same – even if it is only across the hall! Last night I had a chair delivered that is now in Abby’s room so I can sit in there with her to feed and settle her when needed. It’s a relief knowing that I can stay in there when I need to. When she’s older and she has her own bed – I’ll put the chair in my library.

She smiles loads now, and every now and then she even has a giggle. When I sing to her (off key, might I add!) she smiles, coos, and tries to sing along with me. It’s rather gorgeous. These are moments that I never want to miss… and ones that I’m afraid I will once I go back to work at the end of July. However – if I win Lotto, I guess I won’t miss a thing. *fingers crossed* It’s just so lovely seeing her grow and develop.

Life is very busy being a mother, wife, and writer. Every moment is worth it though.

 

Waiting… with bated breath

I am due to have this baby any day now, and to be honest – I need to. It’s too hot, uncomfortable, and I just think it would be better to carry this child in my arms now, rather than in my body. I am completely over the fact that I can no longer move properly, my muscles don’t seem to work the way I want them too, and the fact that I need to use the step ladder just to shave my legs at the moment. And while pregnancy and I haven’t agreed much with each other… I probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

I guess this is a little like waiting to open a Christmas present, (only you know what it is.) The major difference is that you don’t know what it will be like. You don’t know how it will eat, sleep, cry, or even what features and traits it will inherit from us. This is not like designing a character. It’s predetermined by mother nature. And not knowing these things is just like unwrapping a present at Christmas – although – you don’t know when the present will arrive.

Anyway, while it’s kind of exciting, because little Bump could arrive in any day at the moment, it’s also nerve racking for both of us because this is a new adventure for us as parents. Neither of us have had children before, so it’s going to be an awesome journey that we’ll be sharing with little Bump. When it decides to make its long anticipated appearance – that is!

Every little twinge or pain makes me wonder if it’s Bump coming or not. This is only to be expected at this stage though, considering Bump was ready for hatching a couple of weeks back. The days seem longer now that I am not working, but my husband seems to be rather pleased with himself now that he has a dedicated housewife. Haha. (Dreams are free, dear husband, because when Bump arrives on the scene I highly doubt the house will be nearly as spotless, or that dinner will be on time each night.)

So here I sit in this little house, writing away, and waiting with bated breath for our child to arrive on the scene.  One day soon, Bump will embark on its journey.

 

Monday Musings

An interesting thing happened the other day. I was sitting on the train on my way into the city to meet with my husband to go to a 50th birthday, and I had my laptop open on my Nano novel. But for some unknown reason, the Nano novel just wasn’t calling to me like it should. I couldn’t pull my focus in the slightest to even remotely focus on it.

So I sat there, listening to music, day dreaming. After a few minutes, I slowly started to recognise the music in my ears as part of the soundtrack I had compiled together for my Urban Fantasy trilogy. The next thing I knew, I was opening up the second book of the trilogy (that I haven’t opened since July!) and I was reading the area that I stopped writing.

The Zen of sudden clarity in my world

With a sudden smack of clarity, I knew how to end this book. This is a concept that I have been struggling with since July. I’m not kidding. But I had turned my mind from it, and had been working on other things, knowing that due to my pregnancy – my creative side of my brain wasn’t quite functioning on all cylinders.

I actually still can’t quite believe that this has happened. I can’t believe that I now know how to finish off the second book. I knew that I had to raise the stakes, and hype it up for the lead into the third book… but there was so much going on that I just didn’t know how to do it. I had spent 80,000 words maneuvering my characters into the right positions… and then I managed to get myself stuck with no creative thought on how to get myself out.

I know that my critique partners out there are going to be rather chuffed that I have finally figured this out. It has been more than frustrating for me over the past few months. So… as part of the NaNoWriMo madness, I’m going to try to get the final 5000 words down to complete book II of the Talent Series.

So, this is what I have on my mind at the moment:

• My gorgeous sister is bringing her new dude to come and stay with us this week. Very excited to have her coming. I miss her a lot, and us siblings are very close, so I am reallylooking to spending some quality time with her. She also wants to be introduced to Bumpkin as well… so I guess now is her chance. She’s probably going to find it just a little odd that her big sister is pregnant. (I think that I would find that odd if it were the other way around.)
  

  S Dali - Persistence of Time

• I’m behind on my editing and revision of The Mediterranean Source. I really need to get through this hump that I am at, at the moment. The part that I am revising requires a crapload of focus… and I just need to really pay attention. But there are so many interruptions at the moment with everything else that’s happening… that I can’t seem to grasp a decent amount of time to pull my focus. I’m just going to have to keep trying.
• I had a big book clear out in the weekend. Boxes of them. It’s a seriously marvellous feeling to clean out your crap. I just love it. There is a lot to be said about this nesting business. I would like to tackle even more rooms if I can get the chance. Perhaps this Thursday when I take the day off. Will just have to wait and see. I should probably be ‘slowing down’ a little, but I just can’t see it happening.

I think that’s it from me at this stage. I only have three days in the office this week, so I’m rather chuffed with that. Hopefully being at home a bit more this week will allow me to sort a few more words on the page.

I hope that you all have a great week, and that those you are getting Nano’d, do so good and proper

 

Monday Musings

Before I get into it – I would like to apologise about the lack of my Musings post last Monday. I took the day off sick, as I’d had bugger all sleep… and kinda forgot about it!

I’m not sure what goals you all have in your life… but I know that with mine I have a crap load. Yes. Heaps and heaps of them. And I will keep pursuing these goals until I finally get there, not matter how long it takes me. Is this wrong? I don’t think so. I think that it’s driven, and it gives me something else to think about instead of the mundane everyday stuff that I have to put up with. I’m a dreamer… always have been – always will be.

But how is this measured?

Well. I keep a Hopes and Dreams book, where I write down all sorts of things in it. (Yes, winning the lottery is written down in the dreams section!) But in reality… this is more of a goals book, with a little bit of fantastical dreaming mixed in. If the dreams come to the life of reality, then my world will be all the more richer for it. Another of my dreams, is to one day hit the Whitcoull’s Top 100 List. This has always been a dream, but more importantly – it also keeps my writing and goals in perspective. I’m not sure I’ll ever get there… in fact, at the moment I highly doubt it since it looks as though that particular bookstore is going under. But there will be another ‘bookstore list’ I can dream about some day. For today, I’ll stick with Whitcoull’s.

I also measure my writing progress in six month increments. I find that if I set goals and plans for a year – it’s too long. Six months feels about right. It goes fast, and you would be surprised at how fast it actually goes!! Then I can revise it, carry over some of the straggling tasks and goals, and continue onwards and upwards.

And why am I yabbering on about goals, hopes, and dreams you may ask? Well… because of all the editing and revising that has been happening in my world. With each page and chapter I complete – my dreams get just that little bit closer.

So, what am I amusing myself with this week?

Bedroom from the movie 'The Holiday'

• We need a new bed. I am not kidding. I have just about had enough of the bed we currently have. Every time my husband even sniffs, I feel it. And it’s killing me. By the time I get to Thursday or Friday of the week, I am freaking exhausted from not getting quality sleep. But it’s the same for him as well. We are constantly waking each other up, all night long. Not to mention… my back is killing me at the moment! The other day we were in a shop browsing around (dreaming), and we came across this bed. We both lay down on it, and just knew that even though it was situated the midst of a busy shop, we could actually go to sleep right then and there. Trust me… if I had the cash right now, I would be getting a new bed.
  Bugger finishing off building our wardrobe… a decent bed is our next priority after we sort the other room out this coming summer.
• NaNoWriMo officially starts on 1^st November. Good grief. I was just saying this morning that I am more confused that a chameleon stuck in a box of crayons at the moment over this. I have so many ideas, and yet, no idea what to work on this November. My big question is around whether I should keep writing the Trilogy over this November, or if I should pull out some fresh ideas and try my hand at something new? Bah. No idea. See? Still confused.
• I didn’t finish a short story I was trying to write in September. You never know though – I still might. I was enjoying it, and the processing of new and wild ideas. I also didn’t review the books that I wanted to get through, and even the books that I started reading were put down. My tolerance levels for mediocre writing has dropped significantly, and I just can’t be bothered wasting my precious time on them anymore. Now I am reading a stellar book and really pleased that I ditched the others!  

  

  My new space

• Yesterday afternoon, I decided that I was truly sick of my dining area that I never use properly. And I was also annoyed that there was one sofa in our living room that hogged the heater all the time, not to mention, I felt that our entire living area was centred around the TV, and if I wanted to sit and read, I would have to share my mental space with the TV as well. So…… I put my problem solving hat on, and switched a few things around. Now I have a lovely space at the opposite end of the living room that has one of our sofas, a nice big rug, currently an ottoman, and plenty of space to stretch out and enjoy a good book. It looks out over the garden, has loads of light, and I can open the window and enjoy a bit of the outside world as well. My husband sat there in this new space last night, and chatted to me while I pottered in the kitchen. It was excellent, and he could still watch the news at the same time. Much more family inclusive. And my cat loves it. Sorry about the quality of the photo! To give you an idea of what it was like before – well – the dining table area covered that whole rug – and I never used it! And the dark red sofa sat in fron of the grey rug facing towards the camera, and effectively, it was the heater hog sofa. I’m rather pleased with the end result!

On the writing front, there should be a lot more, but I’m still editing. Very slowly.

Bumpkin Big Foot

Oh yes, and for those of you who don’t know – my husband and I are expecting our first child in February. For the moment, we are calling it Bumpkin till it’s born. Exciting, yes… Challenging? Already. And another one of those reasons why my concentration is completely blown out of control. But I will get it back – hopefully through the participation of NaNoWriMo this year.

I really think that’s about it from me at the moment. Lots on, but at the same time, not much at all. Voila. Monday Musings is officially over for the week. Ciao for now.

 

Monday Musings

I know that I’m a little late getting this post out – but it’s technically still Monday. A few things have been happening, that definitely have me musing away.

• My husband was incredibly productive over the weekend, and managed to get through a huge list of tasks that he had set himself. He re-gunked up the skylights, (so hopefully no more raining in my living room)… fixed my glasses… put the rubber thingees in the windows so I don’t have gale force winds coming through the house… he did about 3 loads of washing, and changed the sheets… installed some fancy-pants heating unit thing in our room that heats the room in hardly any time at all… and he did a few other things as well, that I just can’t recall.
• Mother in law’s partner is staying at the moment, and he has been putting the handles on our sliding doors. Nasty finickity job, that he seems quite happy just pottering away at. Another dreadful task around our house getting done. All in all, it was an incredibly productive weekend around our house.
• Editing and revising is happening on my book. I forgot how much I seriously love revising and editing. Analysis of the storyline, the characters, and all motivations really gets my mind ticking over… and this is happening. Slowly but surely. You can’t eat the elephant all in one gulp, and I’m chewing away at this mammoth task, working solidly through it. I’m not joking when I say that this is one book that I never really want to heavily revise and edit again. I can’t be bothered as I have a lot of other work that needs to be done on the writing front, and it’s about time that I let this one go and fend for itself out in the real world.
• Speaking of revising and editing, the post that I wrote yesterday on that seems to have been generating some interest. Always good to know that every now and then my blog posts are meaningful to someone out there.
• Lotto was won in the weekend, and by someone who is reasonably poor, with a good community spirit. I know that it’s a shame that it wasn’t me, but I’m pleased that it went to someone deserving of a break. :-) The chap is a forestry worker from the middle of no where, with a very humble sense of self opinion. Now that is the sort of person I want to win lotto.
• I’m sad to discover that my neighbour has Liver Cancer. He has done a lot for us over the years that we have been living next door, and I know that this is an incredibly tough time for him. I had a good cuppa tea with him yesterday, and his faith is one of the things mentally getting him through. He finds out today whether or not its terminal. For someone so positive and active in life, it’s sad to see them fall to pieces like this.

So… I think that’s me for the moment. Ideas are flooding into my head at an alarming rate for books that I would like to write. But at this stage, I’m just taking them all as they come and storing them away for a rainy day. In the meantime, I have some revising and editing to do – not to mention a critique partner who is expecting the finished piece.

I hope that everyone has a super-duper week head of them.

 

Wanted: Pieces of clarity

Recently, I know that I have been shocking at the whole blogging thing. But actually, it’s not just the blog that is suffering right now, it all my writing endeavours. Except dreaming up new storylines – I still seem to be good at that!

Journey into Imagination - Claude McCoy

There has been much going on in my life recently that is distracting the crap out of me, and I just can’t seem to gather one clear thought together. Everything is scattered about and most of the time I feel as though I am scrambling around trying to find pieces of clarity amongst the mess.

But I know that this will pass. That is one of the reasons why I am taking a forced break from writing. This is so I can let my head clear from whatever fog has formed around it, and to see clearly once again on the other side.

This has happened to me before, but never for such an extended period. And when it does happen, I feel completely unstuck from everything. Some people call this writers block. I’ve always called it ‘middle-book blues’.

However, this time I’m not so much in the middle of a book. I’m in the middle of writing a series, and I am literally pages away from finishing the second book. But for the last five weeks or so, I have been at a loss of what to do with the ending. I just simply cannot decide.

I have been thinking that perhaps I should just start writing a bunch of alternate endings, and putting a poll out for people to vote for their favourite. Only, I know that would take too long and I really need to start writing the third and final installment shortly. I have set myself a deadline to get this trilogy finished, and I plan on sticking to it.

So there you have it. I am a little unstuck from my writing at the moment. I know I have been on ‘radio silent’ on my blog for a while now…  But I will try to be better. (You would not believe how many blog posts I have written over the past five weeks that are partials, unfinished, unclear, and randomly all over the place.)

Ah well, that’s life, and this is where I am at.

 

Procrastination

There is just so much that I could say right now, but once again – that would be procrastinating.

A lot has been happening in my life lately, some things that I just wasn’t prepared for, and other things that I have been avoiding. Like finishing this book, for example. Never fear – it’s so close, I could almost touch it. In fact, if I knuckle down today – I might just be able to finish it now.

But, since I haven’t blogged for a while, I may as well catch you up on everything that has happened over the past couple of weeks.

1. My house is warmer due to all the underfloor insulation that has been going in over the past three weekends.
2. My house is now spotless, because I have been refusing to clean it with all the fibreglass crap that has been all over my house – and knowing that more will be distributed with the next lot of insulation going in. All the washing has been done, as well as the dusting, and I have bought new linen for our bed because the other stuff was pissing me off. I couldn’t understand why I was putting up with it, until I realised that I am not actually poor… so there was no reason why I shouldn’t just go and buy something we liked.
3. One of our cars is getting fixed. This car has been seriously broken for a while now. Six months. It’s only costing me $1000 bucks to fix it as well. *choke*
4. The other car has cost us $600 to get it to a warrantable standard, or else that was going to be an epic fail as well.
5. I have been to visit all of the family that live in the region over the past couple of days, because I have been avoiding them and living like a hermit. Including visiting my grandmother, who I haven’t seen in a month. Not cool. Usually I see her at least once a fortnight. Bad granddaughter.
6. Oh, and I have watched a lot of movies lately. Mostly good ones too.

So… that’s where I am up to. Fingers crossed that I can finish up this book today or tomorrow. It’s been going on too long now, and I just want to put it aside and start editing.

And everything else that I wasn’t prepared for can go on the back burner for a few days until I work this book out. Then I will sort the rest of my life out. Book first, life later. Everything else can shove it. Writing is what is important to me and my happiness, and I think that it’s about time that some people just figure that out.

Oh, and one last thing. I’m really looking forward to the final instalment of Harry Potter this week. The end of an era, and the conclusion of one. Ciao ciao for now.

 

My writer’s journey: Part II – The Nom de Plume confession

Today I am going to take my well-worn mask off because I think it’s high time that I came out of my closet, and told my readers and writing circles. I’m going to tell you a story.

Once upon a time when I was a very young writer, I delved into the literary domain feet first, and it was in this realm that I tried to hide. I hid the secret life of writing from everyone in my real life, because this was my world. The only person who knew about this world was my husband, who thought that I had gone stark raving nuts. But I needed this sanctuary that I had created.

It was a form of escapism from the real and terrifying world that I was exposed to. There was my day job, which had political stresses in it, friendships that were on rocky ground, and my family life that was literally falling apart around me. The most solid relationship I had ever known (my parents) had disintegrated before my eyes, and there was nothing that I could possibly do about it. This action, in turn caused me to seriously question my own relationship with my husband. Why? Because their relationship was built on the same foundation that I built mine on: trust. And suddenly all of that shattered, and blew my world to smithereens.

So I turned to writing to get me through this terrible patch in life. Through my writing, I created a novel surrounding orphaned siblings, because that was how I felt. It was as if our parents had died. I guess that in some way, their unified bond with us kids had. But I am pretty damn lucky with my brother and sister – they are amazing people, and if anything, my parents separating have only thrown us closer together as siblings. However, in the writer’s world, I started to feel lonely. I knew I needed other people around me who were writing too. I did some research online, found that I was not alone in this creative endeavour and came across this beautiful creative community at Writing.com. But because my environment was turning inside out, I chose to disguise myself with a nom de plume.

This was the easiest way to keep two very different worlds separated, yet connected through one mind. Mine.

Some of the material that I was putting out on the great Interweb was personal to me, my family, my friends, and my work place. Yes, it was all fictionalised, but I couldn’t risk the association out there. I was on shaky ground. I needed to work through my emotions somehow, and so I chose to write my way through them. Then I threw the pieces out there into the world for critique and feedback from strangers.

And through these actions, I learnt and learnt, and captivated huge amounts of information. Before I knew it, Leigh K Hunt was developed into a real person. She was me, and I was her. She had these incredible friends and connections throughout the world, with some pretty amazing creative people. She still does… I still do.

All these friendships are built and developed on trust and communication. I thought, ‘How can these people trust me, if they don’t even know my real name? I trust them, and I know their names, even their pseudonyms – so why shouldn’t I share mine?’

So – my real name is Kate (Kathryn) Strawbridge. (Sounds ‘desperate house-wifey’, doesn’t it?)

You may or may not want to know how I developed my nom de plume, but I will tell you anyway. Leigh is derived from my maiden name, K represents my first name, and Hunt – well that comes from my ancestors in a very roundabout way. My ancestors were Scottish Highlanders, particularly known for their poaching methods – the Gunn clan. My husband’s ancestors operated a smuggling ring based inDevon,Britain. I chose Hunt, because it represents both lines of ancestry. Little did I know that there was actually a famous poet once named James Leigh Hunt, and by that time – it was far too late.

So now I am out of the closet. You may wonder why I am only just telling this piece of information to the world now… well, it’s partly to do with the fact that my husband encouraged me to do this, and the other main reason is that now my parents’ divorce is formally going through to be finalised. I refuse to hide, anymore.

Yes, I am a writer, and yes I use a pseudonym – just like a lot of other writers. I have taken my mask off, but you can guarantee that I’ll always be the same writer and person that you know, and yes, I will still use my nom de plume. I’m kind of fond of it.

 

Writing scenes that make you emotional

Research department working on emotions - at the University of Nevada. Click image for more info.

I think that every writer will eventually go through this. These are the moments that you are so physically and emotionally connected to your manuscript that you can become ‘teary-eyed’ emotional over the scene that you are writing. There are also moments that have you in fits of giggles.

In terms of the crying thing, I can’t say that I have experienced this much yet, but I have been there a few times. I remember the first time this happened to me really clearly. It was a revolting weekend, weather-wise, and I was sitting in my old library. Classical music thumped around me, as I sat there on Saturday morning at my computer tapping my little heart out. The scene that I was writing was the death of one of my characters. Now this character, Lucy, doesn’t play a big part in the book, but she is an incredibly significant person to the main characters – their mother figure.

And it was when my main characters were trying to deal with the loss of Lucy, that I lost it. Tears flooded all over the keyboard, but yet I kept writing. I’m not kidding when I say that I was sobbing with grief. My husband finally heard the commotion, stepped into the library, to find my heart breaking all over the keyboard. He kept trying to remove me from the computer, but I kept pushing him away – knowing that I had to finish the scene. He did eventually get me away from the computer, threw me into the car, and dragged my sorry backside out for breakfast. Yes, I was still crying in the car. Capturing these emotions that I was experiencing was crucial to the scene. I felt that if I was this emotionally connected to the scene, then just maybe my readers would feel something similar, (even if it is to a lesser degree.)

Excellent blog on Human Emotion. Click image for more info.

The same goes for laughter. If you are reading or writing a scene, and bursting into fits of giggles at the same time, perhaps your readers will find it amusing as well. I know, to a non-writer – this post would seem like an insane writer rambling away about emotions, but trust me – we writers are like this from time to time.

There are times when our characters do something (yes, they do take over) that seriously makes you laugh. When I read my own work and I come across something funny – these are the moments when I shake my head in wonderment and say aloud to myself: “F*!k, I’m clever.” (*Clears throat*… Excuse the ‘French’ – but it’s generally what I say! J)

Emotions are powerful existences of nature when it comes to literature. As a reader, I know that if I laugh at books, or cry with books, I feel very connected to the book, no matter who has written it.

So there you have it. Go forth; write literature that readers are going to emotionally connect to. It’s a winner.

 

My writer’s journey: Part I

All I wanted for my 30th birthday was to have my book published. Of course, I was only 25 when I decided this. By the time that I actually reached 30, I knew that there was more of a journey for me to follow through with before that vital publishing step could happen.

But if you had asked me five years ago, it would have definitely been publishing. Don’t you just love naivety? It’s a beautiful thing. A sense of innocence. 

My parents always told me that I could be anything that I wanted in the world. It’s even more amazing, that I found what I wanted. It was the incredible world of literature. Of other worlds that amazingly creative minds have created. Worlds that I just love to immerse myself in. Of course I didn’t just stumble across it. I have always been a reader, since I was a wee spring chicken. At our local community library when I was a child, I managed to pretty much read my entire way through it. Yup, even the adult stuff. I loved it. Libraries are now a great sense of comfort for me. That is one of the reasons why I built my own library at home. Oh, it’s not that ‘grand’, but it is lined with books. So many books.

Skipping back to when I was young… I was also a writer back then as well. I wrote many a short story, and many a poem. I also kept numerous journals, for numerous years. But I didn’t actually know that I was a writer. I guess that it had never really occurred to me. This was not an aspiration that I had worked towards. I spent years training to be a designer. Then once I actually got to be a designer… I just knew somewhere deep down inside of me, that this wasn’t right either.

When my parents split up (when I was 25), I went through a bit of a rough time. I took a few days off work to process this fracture in my life. During those days off, I stumbled across an old diary of mine. (One of the many diaries that I wrote.) Inside was a list. A beautiful list of all the things that I wanted to do and achieve before I died. So I sat down in the bottom of my wardrobe, and I started going through the list, and crossing off things that I have done. Like bungy-jumping, buying a house, driving a racing car down the quarter-mile track, getting married… you get the idea. But on this list, stated at item number 13 was: Write a book.

Just for the record, number 13 has always been one of my lucky numbers… and reading this list was all the encouragement that I needed.

I started straight away. I leapt into character development, and storyline planning. And then I started writing. I wrote and I wrote. And in between writing, I was comforting my brother and sister through the separation. But I was writing. Writing like the wind, I would say. I was cranking out 6000 words per weekend. Now, for an amateur, that’s not a bad effort.

In the middle of all this, I started to network with other writers online. A very small grouping, but it was enough. This was when I met a really good, and long-term writing friend, Peter. He wrote these amazing stories about a chap named Tom Fish that kept me in fits of giggles.

But it was the support and the love of the craft that bonded us together. He was also the first reader of my very amateur blogging efforts. Bless. I feel sorry for Peter, now that I look back on those times.

I’m so pleased that I have walked the incredible path that I have already. It has taken me years, but still I trudged onwards.

Not long after I met Peter, I printed out the 80,000 word manuscript that I managed to crank out, and I gave it to a friend. She told me that she wanted to read it, and I let her. Big fricking mistake. I wasn’t ready. I really wasn’t. The feedback that she gave me was appalling, and I’m afraid that this has scarred me for life.

When I say that it has scarred me… well this is because I think I wasn’t ready to hear what she had to say. Maybe this has made me a better writer? Maybe it hasn’t. But what I really didn’t need at the time was for her to go through my precious first manuscript that was so close to my heart with a red pen, and mark out every single mistake I had made. I needed someone to read it, and tell me whether or not the story was okay, or whether or not the storyline needed further work. It was hard enough hearing her say that she thought my story was a trashy novel reincarnated, but it was even harder reading through all the red pen. Needless to say, that story [The Legacy] is hiding away in a deep dark drawer waiting for me to finally pay it a little bit of love and attention again.

This story is particularly close to my heart because this was the novel that I wrote during an incredibly emotional time with my parents, and my family unit falling apart. This was the story that helped me work through a multitude of issues. My husband once told me that I should burn it. put it through a formal burning ceremony, to release and let go of those dark days… but a part of me just can’t burn up months and months of solid and hard work. You see, it’s not just the manuscript that I would be burning. It’s a part of my writer’s journey. The foundation stone of this journey.

After getting that first initial lot of feedback, and after all the hurt, I sat back and took stock. I looked at everything in detail, and reinvented my ideas, and my working methodology. During that time, I also started to build a fortress around myself. I taught myself that feedback is one person’s opinion, and that you can either take it or leave it. But it is a readers opinion. And if you want anyone to read your work, then you should probably pay attention to it. You don’t have to take it on board – just pay it some sort of attention. After all, the reader has taken the time out of their lives to give this to you. it’s a gift. Embrace it. Embrace the criticism, because only you can learn from it.

I still consider myself being at the start of my journey. Perhaps I will always feel that way? Perhaps not. All I know is that there is so much more out there for me to learn, embrace, and produce. There are many more stories and novels in me. And only I can put them out there.

So, that’s me for the moment. This is part I of my story. I’m sure that there will be many more parts to this as I progress, but this is it for now. This post was intended to be a post about me reviewing other people’s work… but somehow it morphed into something bigger than just that.

Tom, Me, and Millie. My siblings, and the most awesomely creative people.