The Importance of Support

I am very lucky to have some amazing people around me in my world. I’m not just talking about my writing world, but I am also talking about the friendships that I have developed over the years.

There is something rather reassuring to know that you can bounce ideas off the people around you, and know that you are going to get an honest opinion. Whether that opinion is aligned to what you think is irrelevant. It’s the honesty behind it that encourages you to think from an outside perspective.

There is just something so damn refreshing about having that there, whenever you need it. But these are not just ‘take, take’ relationships. They are ‘give, take’ relationships. The reciprocal action is what makes it work. There are days when I need specific sets of advice from certain people who I know have more experience than I do… and it’s awesome to have those special people there to help me clarify ideas.

This works particularly well with my amazing critique partners. Seriously – these women are something special. Each of them all have very different experiences in the writing and publishing world… much like I do within my literary world as well. The very cool thing about this little team that I have surrounding me, is that each of those critters all write in different genres to me, and therefore with one book that I give to them to read and seek opinion on, I can get a great reader and writer perspective from them. The honesty is in the feedback.

Some days I get feedback that I really don’t want. And I think that every single writer in the world gets feedback like that. The book you write is never the book that is read. Seriously. Everyone’s perspective of your book is their own, and it is up to you as the writer to decipher what feedback will work for you and what wont.

The thing I like the most about having critique partners is the thanks that I get for supporting them. I have a good friend/critique partner who has just released her debut novel, and I am just so damn proud of her. She has worked so very hard – and I can’t believe that I’m going to be able to walk into a bookshop shortly, and see it sitting there on the shelf. I will stand there proudly gazing upon its gorgeous cover, and know that I have contributed to the development of that book by reading, critiquing, and supporting that author to get through this arduous process. Then I’ll end up buying it for my special collection.

I have another friend/critique partner who has just released her trilogy, and soon it will be in paperback. And I seriously can’t wait to see those books sitting proudly upon my bookshelf in my home library. These are the moments in time when I will look at these massive achievements from women I know, and know that as a critique partner, and as a good friend, I have done my duty. I have given feedback and support to these authors, and they have chosen what they can use, and what they can’t, and they have created from that.

Just over a year ago, when the Christchurch earthquake struck on 22^nd Feb, I developed an amazing friendship with someone who was calling out for writers to come together for a charity anthology. Usually I would never have responded. Seriously. I am not that sort of person. But because this was for such a worthy cause that was so close to my heart, I felt I had to respond. And all I was offering at the time was to help her round up writers and support her with the development of this massive project. Throughout that time, the friendship that I developed with her was amazing. I class this woman as one of my closest friends, and we talk every single day. I’m not kidding. I know everything about her, and her family. She knows everything about me and mine. And it’s amazing that we have only known each other for just over a year. Without Mother Nature enforcing her power over Christchurch that day, we never would have met.

Friendships are built on the foundations of trust, honesty, and communication. Usually there is a bit of commonality thrown in there as well for good measure… Friendships provide you with support, and a supportive relationship with people is the only way to live.

 

Quitting the Evil Day Job

One of my good friends who is also one of my critique partners, is leaving her Evil Day Job this week to write full time. I have three critique partners, and they are all now full time writers. (One has three children, so she’s also a full time Mum.) I personally think that this is totally wonderful, and it means that these inspiring women can tap into some serious creative potential to achieve their dreams. They even have the time to achieve their dreams.

But for my friend who is leaving her job this week, this is where the story unravels a bit. Apart from her husband and children, she is lacking support with the real humans in her life (not the writers). Her friends and real family are criticizing her for her decision to leave work, refusing to even talk to her about her creative endeavours, and this is right royally starting to piss me off. The audacity of these people. They call themselves her friends and family? But where is the support? Or the love? Or the shoulder? No where. They appear to be more worried about how she will make money, or the recession, or things like that. Personally – it is absolutely none of their business to what arrangement she has with her money situation. What business is it of theirs? If she has some sort of way to pay the bills and live, then that is her business and hers alone.

This decision that she has made is primarily about her happiness, and her goals in life. Life is what we make of it, and if you are happy sitting around working a 40 hour week in a job that you don’t like, and getting paid sweet F.A. to do so – then fine. That’s your life. Be happy with what baskets you put your f*!king eggs in. But if you see someone taking a risk with their own life to make their dreams come true? Well – that’s just inspirational. Be inspired by this. Do not be jealous, or worry about their potential money problems!

I can’t wait till my friend has more time on her plate to create her worlds. It’s very exciting for her, and I am more than willing to give her as much support as she needs to make her dreams come true. What goes around, comes around.

So, let this be a warning to those who are not creative or to those to have no idea what being creative means. If someone is quitting their day job to pursue their dreams, then support them in achieving that. Be their shoulder to cry on, and be there to talk to them. That’s what friends and family do for each other. It is not about how much money you earn, or what you spend it on that shows your quality of life. It’s how you feel within yourself.

 

Tales for Canterbury

Publishing an Anthology: Tales for Canterbury – All proceeds to Red Cross Canterbury Earthquake Appeal. Seeking Stories.

This is an idea that a NZ writer came up with last night, and since then – it’s escalated. So – I’m going to throw this out there. If you have any further queries about it, feel free to email Cassie and she will be happy to answer:

Christchurch, New Zealand, and the wider Canterbury region, was rocked yesterday (22.2.11) by another round of serious earthquakes. This time they struck during the middle of the day causing more devastation, and loss of life, to a city still trying to pick up the pieces from last September’s quakes.

In an attempt to do something, anything, to make a difference, we are putting together an anthology of short stories loosely themed around survival, hope and the future. All profits of this anthology will be donated to the Red Cross Earthquake Appeal, or another registered charity aimed at aiding those in need in Canterbury.

The purpose of this Anthology is two-fold—to help financially, but also, we hope, to provide entertainment and alleviation in a time of crisis. We hope that our words will help make a difference.

We have already begun to approach authors, and the response is encouraging. Mainly due to time pressures, this anthology will be by invitation. However, if you are an established writer, and keen to contribute, please feel free to get in touch with us at just.cassie.hart@gmail.com. We are looking for stories between 1,500 and 5,000 words, of fairly upbeat nature in the general, literary, science fiction or fantasy genres.